Ella Nicole by Ella Nicole

Author:Ella Nicole [Nicole, Ella]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-12-26T06:00:00+00:00

Chapter Sixteen

- Sera -

It’s almost four in the morning. Luckily for me, it’s warmer than usual, so I'm not utterly freezing as I make my way to the hatch.

I’m practically sprinting through the forest, eager to curl up in bed. I’m well aware of my thighs screaming, threatening to go on strike and collapse from exhaustion.

I keep pushing, if only to avoid thinking the unthinkable.

It works. Almost.

I’ve lied to Xavier so many times. I still act like these lies are true.

He thinks I’m just some lady’s maid, that I’m just like him. How I wish he were right. I want to be a normal girl infatuated with a normal boy. One that skips her chores and is scolded by a doting mother with the best cookie recipe. I should be dreaming of dresses decked with rubies and diamonds, not wishing with every ounce of my being that I would never have to see a ballgown again.

I run faster, but the thought keeps coming like water in a sinking ship.

The next time Xavier sees me, it won’t be easy for him to say that he’ll love me as a friend forever. I’ll be the leader of Anima Mea then, and he will hate me. Xavier will hate me.

I should have told him when we were alone, it would have been the perfect time, but the little voice in the back of my head wanted to hold on to the sense of peace forever. I couldn’t when I saw the look in his eyes as he told me our relationship would last a lifetime. Besides, I have a few more nights at the Hideaway to tell him. I don't know how I’ll ever be able to convince Rachel to let me use her room again, but I made Ash a promise. I can’t have her be the one to tell him. I do not know what her game is either, why she needs me. She isn’t just some regular girl; I know that.

I remind myself he will always be in my memories when I stop going. He will always be a piece of me. It’s a small consolation, because just thinking of him as a memory is like squeezing lemon juice into a cut. After my marriage, Xavier will know exactly who I am. We will never be Sera and Xavier again. It will be Phoenix standing all alone.

The door isn’t shut when I reach the end of the tunnel. Rachel must have forgotten to close it. But when I brush back the tapestry, she isn’t sitting in her chair. I tell myself she must have gone to bed, even if I barely believe it. Suspicious, I slink through the opening. I still need to get back to my room before anyone notices.

The coast is clear when I glance into the hallway, and I clutch the noisy makeup tote to my chest to muffle any sound from my clanking heels and mascara. I had changed into my boots after Xavier left. When I finished giving him my explanation, I told him I was too exhausted to stay longer.

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